Being too logical or too emotional
I read somewhere that people with AS tend to be either unemotional/very logical or overly emotional.
I think I use my logic to control strong emotions (sort of like using a strength to get around a weakness). Is anyone else this way? I wonder if being emotional/logical is a matter of how well we cope with our AS?
Seeming too emotional is understandable since navigating in a neurotypical world is stressful. Since we don't get things intuitively, we use our intelligence to understand the world, thus appearing to be highly logical. We also might end up seeing things differently, which is why we don't react the same way as other people and come off as aloof. Thoughts?
Yeah, I've been told both many times.
Definitely can relate as I've been told both many times over.
I'm mostly struggling with emotional disregulation (barf), but I've been called aloof.
Mainly, this one time because I was working in an environment with a bunch of adults who acted like they were still in high school, and I wasn't swooning around the boss like the other girls. When I talked about work, I guess I was too logical about it, and maybe some of my angst about the work situation came through as well, which made me .. maybe.. come across as sounding like I thought I was superior to them. When the girl told me this in a private conversation, I cried.
I can't seem to control how my face looks, so I'm projecting a lot of discomfort which interferes with my communicating with my husband and probably others (but he's the one who tells me about it); my eyebrows furrow when I'm trying to concentrate hard on expressing myself. I could be saying something that's not at all disturbing, and yet I look upset. I bet that IS confusing.
I cry really really easily. I also cry when I'm happy or touched by something. When I was little I cried when we watched the Karate Kid. At the end I went to hide in the bathroom and weeped.
I think I use my logic to control strong emotions (sort of like using a strength to get around a weakness). Is anyone else this way?
I am absolutely this way. I intellectualise situations I find emotionally upsetting or difficult, and can usually moderate my reactions appropriately. Which has the unfortunate side effect of people not necessarily taking me seriously when I say I'm having an anxiety attack, and pushing me until I end up hiding in the bathroom for half an hour :(
I have problems with emotional regulation. I try to be mindful of what I am doing, but it's difficult and I've only recently started this.
I find that I get really emotional over the little stuff (like not having the breakfast I want or if my husband springs something on me), but when something major happens (like our basement flooding or my dad collapsing) I am almost removed from the situation emotionally. My daughter's cardiologist thought I was nutty because I wanted to leave and go have lunch during her major open heart surgery instead of sitting in a tiny little waiting room (packed with other people--ugh) worrying. I just wanted the time to pass quickly and my anxiety to be distracted. I didn't feel really connected to it because I couldn't control it. At the end of the 7th hour of surgery, the anxiety finally erupted and I was a mess.
When she had a tube placed to drain fluid from her chest, they wanted me to wait outside the room until they were done, but I wanted to watch. I found it extremely interesting. The nurses were concerned about me, "You're braver than I am, If it was MY child, I would be a mess!" I wanted to be the one helping! I watched from the hallway, it was a glass room in an ICU, I was standing on my tiptoes to get a good view. My husband would've passed out LOL :) But he finds my reactions to be the opposite of 'normal'. He says I can flip out about the littlest thing, but remain calm in the apocalypse.
Mn momma I can SO relate. When Rafi was in NICU, I hadly batted an eye, but if my coffee burns. or I don;t have time to make some..watch out!
Mn momma I can SO relate. When Rafi was in NICU, I hadly batted an eye, but if my coffee burns. or I don;t have time to make some..watch out!
I find that I tend to view things differently, at least on certain topics. Maybe because I have trouble piecing things together, or that I miss things, or just have a different view of life. And since I often come to different conclusions, I can seem either like I'm exaggerating my emotions or am hypo-sensitive to someone/something else's problems.
But as of my later-childhood and teenage years, I have become an emotional wreck. Unlike many children growing up on with autism, I was often very good. Never cried to be manipulative, always followed the rules, etc. But as I got older, and began to see the reactions of my peers (which were mostly negative) I just never recovered. I just cannot handle anything - I am terrible to my mother, and I love her more than anything. She knows that I don't mean to harm her, but we both know that it is also not right.
Especially now, sometimes I shove her or scratch her. I really, really hate myself. But I get so overwhelmed or so confused.
Now, if I'm not screaming, I'm crying. Or clinging to my mother like a child. Or wanting everyone to go away. I'm nothing but extremes. It went beyond the typical "teenage moodiness." My mother is afraid that I'll someday have to go to a mental hospital to help me deal with my fucking emotions.
I guess I must lean towards the over emotional side, because I've been told to calm down so many times. Well I agree with one poster who said that this is a very stressful world for us autistics, so no wonder I get emotional at times.
I am the logical type, though I feel strong emotions, and I might initially get upset (not typical though... even though I am irritable with CFS when I have to repeat myself because I don't have a lot of energy), I respond with logic. (I think I may even get irritable at times because I am having to do something hard--talk with another over a concern--when I have so little energy.) I will calm down and get cool with it, often giving the other person too much benefit of the doubt regarding the person's behavior and intent, but when it comes to talking about it, I am usually trying so hard not to hurt the other person when I share how I am feeling and what I need (NTs seem very sensitive to me) that... well, I could have written this: "My eyebrows furrow when I'm trying to concentrate hard on expressing myself. I could be saying something that's not at all disturbing, and yet I look upset. I bet that IS confusing."
I am told I am very logical, but emotionally unpredictable. My emotions are extremes - too intense or oddly reserved, so far as to completely cut-out people who are obviously around me.
When my mother saw this, the year I was Christian, she thought it was rude when I ignored a boy from the church teen group. He was talking to me, and I looked straight ahead, without a word. I explained to her later that I was nervous and did not know what to do, so I did nothing. It gave her an idea to how things were, at times, in school.
I am a mix of both, too logical or too emotional, I can switch from one to the other within minutes.
My generally overly emotional state reverts the oposite direction to being extremely logical with no emotion when there is an emergency at work...
SO I guess I relate to both.
Arlene