best book for learning about AS in relationships
I'm new to learning about AS and my partner doesn't want to get tested but believes she has it. That might explain some of the communication difficulties that we've been having. We've been together almost 5 years but have also suffered some complex grief experiences. She is so important to me but I think it's important that we figure out how to communicate better. I can work around whatever it is but the trouble is figuring out the best way.
What I'm wondering, is what do you think is the best book for helping couples improve their communication and understand each other?
I recognize that individuals have their own unique ways of aspergers but there's got to be a list or guidelines that we could try that might help. I did read "Alone Together: Making an Aspergers Marriage Work" by Katrin Bently which was ok but more of her own personal experience like a memoir and less like a "how-to" book
I'm also very interested in talking with other partners of AS folks.
Thanks!
Lindsey Nebeker is our AWN Washington DC Liaison and Editorial Director for Relationship & Sexuality Publications. She has a great new website about autism and relationships.
Lindsey's site is: Naked Brain Ink.
Ooo, I hadn't seen that! Thanks Sharon! 
Hi Liberrygrrl,
As Sharon was very kind to mention, I have launched a blog which has a specific focus in those areas. It's in its "infancy stage", so the content so far is quite limited. Eventually, there will be more content. However, when you click on the Naked Brain Ink resources page, there is a list of other ASD & relationship articles that you might find helpful.
Also, there are a few excellent books I can recommend to you. Based on what you mentioned here about your particular situation, I highly recommend "The Asperger Couple's Workbook" by Maxine Aston. The title may say "Asperger's", but it's not just limited to that (my boyfriend and I both have an autism diagnosis). This workbook is applicable to both ASD/NT and ASD/ASD partnerships, and it contains advice and activities which can help both partners work through things like self-identity, empathy, sexual expression, and communication.
Hope that helps!
Thanks Sharon and LinZ, I passed on the link to the blog to someone over at Wrong Planet too...
I don't know of any specific book, but there's a website called ASPIRE - have you heard of it? It's particularly for spouses and partners of Aspies:
http://www.aspires-relationships.com/join_aspires.htm
I've also read some really good articles on relationships over the last few months, written by bloggers and others. Unfortunately I didn't bookmark them! But if you do a Google search, there's lots and lots of helpful info out there.
I'll ask my mom, too. She's also the spouse of an Aspie (my dad!), and she might know of something.
HTH a little!
"You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same."
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