I favour email almost exclusively. I avoid the phone. Many many times I don't answer the phone.

Also I sometimes ignore the "respond in kind" rule, that is, if someone sends a message via phone, call them back, by email, write back, etc.

My comfort level varies greatly. I am currently experiencing a bout of days where I absolutely don't want to use the phone. My head feels funny and I don't feel like I can deal with the speaker of the phone in my ear.

Also, my working memory is poor. When discussing things that are multi-step or where things have relationship to other things, or there is a list to remember, I can try to write things down but I get a bit mixed up, and anxious that I'm making things difficult for the other person.

But I realize that when I stubbornly avoid the phone I am making things difficult.

Recently someone is insisting that they want to plan things out with me on the phone. I'm totally freaking out. I think this is making it even more difficult for me to try to use the phone with him. I have had some people be very understanding when I try to explain that I really prefer/need email, and have respected it even if they don't totally understand it. I have no idea how to approach talking to this person.

I mean, I'm having trouble even being direct about really needing email. Sometimes I can't share/assert something because I preemptively think I will be invalidated.

For instance, what happens when one person (me) needs email not phone, but other person has some other need that makes email the thing that is hard and so they need the phone?