Confused by NT "expressions"
This topic may seem a bit trivial to some of you, compared to the discussions on "deeper" or "heavier" subjects, but I have always wanted to ask about some of the figures of speech used so often in conversations among NTs. As far back as I can remember, I would ask my mother why a person said this or that, since it made absolutely no sense to me; her answer was always the same: "It's just an expression." To this day, I find myself confused by so many of these "expressions", and there seem to be new ones cropping up every day.
I don't have contact with a lot of NTs in person, and a lot of those I do interact with speak English as a second language, if at all; so I tend to turn to the internet, books, and especially television, as a way of "studying" the ways of the NT world as far as communication is concerned. It is there that I encounter most of these confusing expressions; people just start saying them one day, and pretty soon these new words/phrases are all over the place; yet no one ever offers a definition or explanation for them. The dictionary usually leaves me as clueless as ever.
For example, one phrase I hear constantly and just can't figure out, is "family dynamic(s)". The dictionary defines "dynamic" as "energetic, forceful." This definition I get, but how does it compute to "family dynamics"? I am pretty sure they aren't referring to a forceful or energetic family--and in this context the word "dynamic" seems to be used as a noun rather than an adjective anyway. So maybe someone can explain it to me?
Another one that has been popular for a while now, but still mystifies me, is "pushing the envelope". I have deduced by the context in which it is used that it means going too far, pushing the limits of ? social norms, maybe, or some other limits that NTs seem so fond of (no offense meant lol); but I can't understand the choice of words. I hear this and I get an image of someone sliding an ordinary envelope across a desk...how does this possibly convey what it is seemingly meant to convey?
Just one more example, and then I will stop! There are two journalism expressions that have also long mystified me. One is referring to a news story as a "human interest story". Silly of me, perhaps, but I was under the impression that all news stories were supposed to be of interest to humans! The other phrase is "yellow journalism". I only know that it has a negative connotation; but as to what exactly it means, I haven't a clue.
So if I haven't bored you all to death by now, maybe someone can clear up these examples for me, to start with. I know I have a lot more of them I want to ask about, but I'll keep it to a minimum for now. Appreciate your input.
Hi AutieLady, Lori and I looked at your post together and decided to each take on part of the answer, hope that is ok! I found on thefreedictionary.com the noun definitions of "dynamic" -
1. An interactive system or process, especially one involving competing or conflicting forces.
2. A force, especially political, social, or psychological: the main dynamic behind the revolution
To my mind, this relates to family dynamic in the way that each family does have its own process and competing/conflicting forces. I think that "family dynamic" is the way that each family interacts with each other both in whole and in separate parts. For example, one family dynamic is that a mother constantly fights with her teenage daughter which then in turn creates tension between the mother and father. That "way of being" in this household is the family dynamic, or how the system works. I know that is a very simplistic example - do you take my meaning?
For "human interest story," I didn't look it up, just telling you my thoughts on it. I agree that human interest stories in a literal sense should cover all stories. I think what it tends to NOT mean are stories that are for more general consideration - such as stories about what a political body is doing - Congress, a country's prime minister, news that makes "big headlines" such as the oil spill in the gulf. The human interest story seems to be a "slice of life" story - one man rescuing a dog from drowning, one woman who had nothing then worked her way up to running her own business, how a lost kitten walked 1000 miles to find its owners - something like that. I can't really say why it would be called that except that those stories seem touch "the humanity" in all of us, while the other type of news is often bad and overwhelming (my opinion).
I don't think your questions are trivial at all! There is no rule that topics on this forum have to be "heavy," and I think these questions speak to the often confusing world of NTs and how phrases, expressions and words don't often say what they truly mean. Thanks so much for posting, and by the way, your cat pic is adorable.
-- Karen 
Hi AutieLady! I don't think parsing out jargon ("family dynamics") andidioms ("pushing the envelope") is at all trivial.
Background: I am a neurotypical person who was born in the 1950s.
I didn't look it up, but this is how I would use the term "family dynamic(s)" -- it is a shorthand way of referring to the patterns of interactions between two or more people in the family. Hmmmn. Thinking.
Hypothetical example: My husband is responsible for driving the children to school. Our sons are squabbling over something, and so are 5 minutes late getting in the car. Each of the children blames the other for lateness. My husband fumes, because lateness makes him anxious, but doesn't deal directly with the kids. That night, he and I are going out to dinner -- someplace that doesn't take reservations, so there's no real set time to depart. In my husband's mind we are to leave at 7 pm sharp, but what he tells me is "7ish". He's ready to go at 6:50, but I'm not ready until 7:05, because the babysitter isn't quite primed until then. When we get into the car, he yells at me for "being 15 minutes late".
Pause the scene
That's an example of "family dynamics" around: intra-child conflict (the squabbling), personal responsibility (each kid blaming the other) promptness (Dad cares a lot about promptness and the kids less), discussing conflict (Dad not talking to the kids about how DAD feels when he's late), and (to an extent) self-regulation (Dad AND sons).
Start the scene ending one:
I start yelling back, blaming him for "7ish" and "being rigid" and talking about he SHOULD HAVE KNOWN the babysitter needed a few more minutes of instructions.
Start the scene ending two:
I take a deep breath or two, say something like "Sorry, honey, I know you like to be really prompt." & keep being empathic until his yelling needs wind down.
There you go: family dynamics in action. Does that make sense to you, or should I try again with some more examples?
Liz,
Your example was a really good. I've heard the phrase "family dynamics" used to describe dysfunction most of the time, so I appreciated the positive example you gave toward the end as you were describing how you would deescalate your husband's yelling. I suppose this is why I've been thrown by the phrase a time or two when used in positive scenarios.
Also, I think in pictures, so when I hear the word dynamics, I instantly see a picture of dynamite in my mind's eye. Again, awesome examples!
A good place to look up things is the Urban Dictionary. For example, I searched there for "family dynamics" and found this:
A social scientist may be concerned with: Social Statics – the study of coexistence of institutions in a system, and their structures and functions; Social Dynamics – the study of change in institutions and systems over time, their development and progress.
So, to apply that to "Family Dynamics", it would mean the study of change in families over time, their development and progress. Karen's explanation above is also really good.
There are a lot of "expressions" and slang that I find confusing, and places like Urban Dictionary help me figure out what they mean. Good luck!
I agree. The internet is great and it is awesome that there are sites out there that explain so many expressions that don't really mean what they say. The little orange cat is Buster :) He is the youngest of our 4 cats.
Welcome back AutieLady! Thanks for saying more about your cats. We have 4 - 2 older ones and 2 younger ones. They all definitely have their own personalities. Our one female cat, Nikkyo, is probably the most rascally, with Buster, the youngest, as the close second. Our second oldest, Kito, is a big craver of love and affection so naturally he is the hairiest :) Marley is the oldest and he's been doing well despite some rough patches earlier this year.
I can totally see how you would have taken that ice cream picture literally! I personally dislike the "think outside the box" expression - I hear it all the time at work. In my understanding of it, "the box" is sort of everything as usual, the way things have been done or have "always been done" and by thinking outside the box, one is to come up with a totally new, different, innovative idea to "break out of the box." Probably one of the reasons I dislike it is that I often have a hard time "thinking outside the box!"
No worries about when or if you reply/respond to other posts - it's great that you are able to be back.
Another easy way for me to think of family dynamics is to think about static versus dynamic rope. In rock climbing, a climber uses a dynamic rope because it gives and rebounds and also changes over time. A static rope is too rigid for climbing and would be dangerous in a fall.
The dynamic in a family involves all the people as variables (and not just the weight of the climber and the length of the fall), with the patterns of interaction changing over time as people interact with each other and change. This change can be functional or dysfunctional or a little bit of both.
The term "push the envelope" became popular after "The Right Stuff", a book by Tom Wolfe was published in 1979. Envelope is used as it is in mathematics, where it basically is something that envelops (surrounds). Longer, more specific explanation is here: http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/push-the-envelope.html
The term "yellow journalism" originated in the late 19th century when there was competition for circulation between Joseph Pulitzer's New York World and William Randolf Hearst's New York Journal. Both papers were accused of sensationalizing the news to sell more papers. The New York Press coined the term "yellow kid journalism" in 1897 after a then-popular comic strip to describe the two papers, which each printed the comic strip. The term was coined by Ervin Wardman, publisher of the New York Herald. More here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yellow_journalism
-Lori