Girl Scouts?
Was anyone else in Girl Scouts (or the equivalent in your country) as a kid?
I was in Girl Scouts for 4 years. I didn't make friends with most of the other girls because most of them went to a different elementary school and I didn't see them every day. I had a couple of friends, but I am not in touch with them anymore. I remember selling cookies during the winter and going camping.
Yes, I was a Girl Scout. I was a Daisy, a Brownie, and a Junior. I had a whole jacket full of patches. I sold cookies.
I also have some pretty poignant memories of being screamed at (yes, SCREAMED AT) by one of the leaders because I couldn't bring myself to ask for help in getting the knots out of the rope that held my juice cup. That was the first and last time I ever went to Girl Scout Camp.
I was a Daisy, and one year Brownie. I did okay in the general meetings because there was a lot of fine-motor-skill work (like sewing) at which I was really good, and I don't think I noticed much else.
My one time at camp was a mess, though. (I sense a theme here.) My only real memory is being in the cabin, which had a wood frame-work, but the sides were only a heavy canvas that was just draped over the top. One of the other girls was messing around, thinking it was funny, and ended up pushing me off my cot -whereon I rolled out the side of the cabin and fell two or three feet to land on the cold, wet ground. The girls were all laughing when I made it back into the cabin. Fortunately, I was not physically damaged; but I still have nightmares about it.
I was in both juniors (4th-6th grade) and cadettes (middle school). I had lots of badges and pins on my sash. I really enjoyed earning badges. However, I didn't connect with the other girls, especially in cadettes. I had one friend for awhile, our common interest being "Star Trek". I didn't know about Asperger's back then. On one campout, I came home frozen to the bone. Why? During campfire time, I was literally on the outside of the circle, and the cold wind was blowing and no one noticed or cared. One time, in our tent, I had a girl snarl at me, "We don't want to hear everything you're thinking!" I didn't even realize I had been talking to myself while I was arranging my things. I was ashamed of that and at that point, I think I began thinking of myself more and more as some kind of freak.
I really felt bad one time when the post of treasurer for the troop was open. I had been appointed as an assistant treasurer by one of the leaders. The girl who had been treasurer for years was graduating out, and so I ran for treasurer in the election. I was the only one left who had any experience. I lost to a girl I thought was unpopular. It was then that I finally got the message, and I quit.
I had many positive experiences, unrelated to people. I got to go places and do things my parents didn't have time or energy to do. But I have a lot of negative, people-related experiences that affect me to this day. I'm only now getting a grasp on it. During the time I was seeking diagnosis and up to now, all these memories are flooding back...examples of how I was different and didn't fit in. I have no confidence in relationships, now, and the idea calling someone a friend seems presumptious on my part.
I was a Brownie Scout and a Girl Scout. It was my mom's idea, and she was the troop leader for a while. I liked the uniform and collecting pins and patches but I really didn't connect with any of the other girls (I don't even remember any of them now) and going to the sleep away camp scared the hell out of me.
Cathy