I don't know where else to go, so - hi?

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OruEstur
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Joined: 5/1/2011

Hey,

I'm 22 years old, a junior in college, and I'm trying to find out why I seem to think or do some things differently from most other people. I don't know what else to do (doctors/counsellors say "you're stressed" and that's useless, because I find most aspects of ordinary life stressful anyway so it's a no-brainer). So I just joined this site, because I suppose people on here might understand me, and be able to help. I have no idea whether or not I might be on the autism spectrum somewhere. I think I'm normal, but, see, I'm me and I don't know what it's like in other peoples' heads - that's the problem.

Like, for instance, I'm an INFJ according to the Myers-Briggs test, so I can say "I'm an introvert, I need me-time" but my roommate or my stepmother would get really frustrated with me when I spend three hours locked up in my room pacing back and forth and listening to the same song over and over again. Lots of things like that. I try to explain it away as mood swings and that I just have difficulties and phobias and things - I've used the phrase "socially inept" as well for years - but people still get mad at me or laugh at me, or make fun of me, and I can't seem to make them understand how hard some things are. I'm just so tired of it. I thought it would get easier as I got older, and it has in some ways - I can interact with people in small groups and do fine - but in a lot of ways it hasn't.

Anyway, I'm talking too much now, but I'm not sure what to say, so whatever. Thank you in advance for putting up with me.

Stephitza
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Joined: 6/1/2010

Hi there!  Welcome to AWN!  Cool

From what you have said so far, I'd say you might be on the spectrum somewhere.  Also, intuition is a powerful thing, and I suspect that your gut is telling you something!  I'd recommend getting an evaluation if you can afford it.  I felt the same way... beginning most prominently in high school:  different from everyone else, yet not sure why.  It wasn't until college when I read about the link between anorexia and autism, and then read about Aspergers in girls and women specifically, that I began to seriously suspect that I have Aspergers.  The trick is finding someone for the evaluation who knows ASDs in girls and women.  In my case, I live in Missouri and ended up going to New York to see Dr. Shana Nichols, just to get that expert opinion.

Another approach is always to not seek a formal diagnosis.  In the meantime, welcome to AWN!  What do you study at school and what are some of your interests?

Best,

Stephanie

http://www.tumblr.com/blog/youvelivedmylifeforme

OruEstur
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Joined: 5/1/2011

Thank you so much for replying! How much would that cost? I couldn't do it right now (I don't have any money, really, or transportation - I still live at home) but it would be something to look into. My mother took me to a neurologist when I was little, but she just sat and talked at the guy about how smart I was (dunno where she got that idea) while I wandered around reading the office posters. So I should probably go somewhere myself to someone who is an expert! I always thought I was "normal" but that's because my sister has the retardation and the ticks and everything, or else I'd read about Asperger's in magazines and how everyone who has it was a maths genius, or whatever, and that's what I thought all autism was like - it was only when I started looking on here that I saw comments like what you said, where it's not always a recognizable-from-birth stereotypical case. It's really interesting.

Anyway... I'm an Anthropoloy/Sociology major and a double minor in Religious Studies and Peace Studies. It's definitely a challenge, but so far it looks like I'm passing. I work at my school library, which is a lot of fun. I like history, children's books, and languages, though I haven't had an opportunity to study other languages other than on my own - which is difficult for one like Irish where, like English, it's not pronounced at all the way it's spelled! I like reading sci-fi/fantasy/mystery books, and I'm trying to get better at writing. And I've invented a few languages - that's been my hobby ever since I was little. I was so happy when I finally got my own computer - dictionaries are SO much easier to write on Word than in a notebook! Whenever I read about history or mythology or language, I like to make my own. I love translating, and even though it seems silly, it helps you understand the real thing.

So... yeah... my favourite TV show is Doctor Who, and I like to draw and take pictures of random things, and I like furry animals and tea and knitting. This is probably much more than you asked for. But at least I'm replying in a real language!

 

OruEstur
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Joined: 5/1/2011

And I didn't go to school, and I play the flute, and I'm Christian and gay. This is the most I've talked about myself in ages :P

Sharon
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Joined: 11/21/2009

Hi & welcome to AWN!  I saw you were talking about the Meyers-Brigg test.  If I remeber correctlly, I am INTJ, and I've seen many people on the autism spectrum test out with a variety of MB results.

I agree with Stephitza and tht it's a good idea to get an assessment.  I saw you asked what the cost would be, but that of course would vary.  The difference in cost would include where you went to get an evaluation, if you have any ins. coverage, etc.  There are some places which do sliding scale fees for people without health insurance.

I saw that your favorite show is Doctor Who.  We have a discussion board here on our forum about television shows and there is a Doctor Who thread with a lot of fan chatter. The link is: http://autismwomensnetwork.org/forum/doctor-who

Again, welcome to AWN & please let us know if you need any help finding your way around the site. Smile

OruEstur
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Joined: 5/1/2011

Thank you very much for your help. I told my parents that I wanted to go see a psychologist when I get home, which would be paid for by their insurance, and then depending on what the doctor said I would go from there (because I honestly have no idea what is going on in my head. I may just be very, very strange). And I just looked at the Doctor Who thread, I am glad there are so many Whovians here, there's nothing like geeking out about Time Lords to make a shy nerd feel welcome :)