I need help... work habits
I am really struggling with creating good work habits for some reason.
I've had problems at every job I've ever had with chronic tardiness, I work REALLY hard on it, but with all my idiosychrosies getting ready for work and all... I'm always like 1 minute late.
My latest job I hate so much, I mean I'm grateful to have a job. But, I hate it. I'm a bill collector and people are mean to me, my boss is nice... but the work environment is loud, hectic, scary for me. I stim a lot (ear tapping, eye tapping, rocking). Nobody notices and nobody knows I'm autistic. In fact, I've heard a LOT of hateful things said by co-workers about "special" people because there is a guy who is an a-hole who people keep asking if he's special, and other people will say "no, our company doesn't allow that!"
This same a-hole and I (and I call him that for good reason) had a run in in the break room a few weeks ago. It was our 9pm break and I went in and sat next to my friend... I didn't notice his water bottle was there. He came over, grabbed it and started cussing at me really loud for sitting in "his" spot. We don't have SPOTS in the breakroom, there are just some tables and chairs, would be too small of a room for the company if 80% of the people didn't go outside to smoke on breaks.
I reported this to a manager and wrote up an incident report, I don't know what happened with it, but ever since that incident I have missed a lot of work. I fear this person and fear getting yelled at. I also ran into him at Wal-Mart after work one night (11:30 pm!) and he said some nasty things to me, I called my boyfriend and he told me to go up by the cash registers until the guy was gone. I missed a lot of work before this as well because I had mono. I am afraid to say I am missing because of fear, so I have made up reasons for missing... it's stupid, I know. I don't know what else to do.
So tomorrow I have a 10 hour shift, but I only worked Monday of last week (Tuesday wasn't my fault, the phones were down and we got sent home), Wednesday I came in for a while but the guy was nasty to me again on 6:00 lunch break so I went home... I didn't work Thursday, I wasn't scheduled Friday (though I should have gone in to make up hours) and have a long shift tomorrow. I'm worried I'll get fired for my absences. I don't know what to do.
I HAVE been making steps to get out of this company and had a great interview Friday and should hear something by Tuesday on whether I got the job or not (keep your fingers crossed for me, please!). But I feel I've made so many mistakes and have done so much wrong. I have been fired from every job I've ever had after high school except for two (and after I gave my notice they told me to be done, I knew they were going to fire me) and one cut me back to part time which I assume was because I didn't meet a deadline on a project but the bosses invented the project for me and was not aware of how time consuming it was, they probably know now, but I was forced to find something full time.
Anyway, any advice would be great. I'm so stressed right now I can't handle it. I only slept 1 hour last night, and I need to go to bed now but I'm fretting.
This was a poor work choice obviously.
I want to tell i know what to do but i don't. Here are some thoughts:
When i'm in a pattern like lack of job success I need someone on hand to help me out of it.
I can say i used to be late a LOT so i started arriving early intentionally. Didn't like it but eventually i stopped being late ands now i am on time. In this situation you are just putting off going back to hell so i can see why you are late.
I would consider leveling with my boss so i could get accommodations. there are pros and cons to this. Occasionally they will be happy to employ a person with a disability because there are government incentives for them to do so especially for big companies.
Have you talked with your boss about your fears? Perhaps he could schedule you on shifts the guys is not on for a while.
Talk to your doctor about some short term night time medication. Try some meditation tapes prior to bed time Get em from the library so u don't have to buy anything.
Thanks everyone for your help, sorry to take so long to come back, I've been on vacation :)
This was written out of dispare, but I'm happy to say I did get my new job and I started last Monday, tomorrow is the start of my second week and I really like it. It's still collections, but it's low-key, non-confrontational collections, a small office of only 10 collectors and two managers, flexible hours and a very nurturing and upbeat environment.
I never went in to quit the old job (I HAD given my boss a note that following day about the hostile work environment, he never acknowledged it), as soon as I found out I got my new job, I just mailed in my key card. Never going to look back.
I must say with regret that I lost my job... again :( I am not sure why, my boss said that I was not productive enough and sleeping at the job (I wasn't sleeping, and I thought I WAS being productive).
That was 3 weeks ago. Since then I took a job at a telemarketing place, but I had an "autistic meltdown" the first day because the headsets are cheap crap and you could hear everyone elses conversation in your ear piece, and someone brought their dog to work and it kept barking, and the flourence light above my desk flickered and my computer monitor flickered... so I started crying, my boss told me that TRI Marketing is noplace for cryers and so I left... and didin't go back :(
So, I'm still looking. I had a great interview on Thursday for a quiet office job (only 3 people including me in the office, all with different offices) but I haven't heard back yet (it's Sunday night late now) but I am hoping I will, I'm going to call them Monday and tell them I really want the job. She said I'd hear "soon" so I thought that meant Friday :( I hope I get it, I am really nervous, as I REALLY want it.
Anyone have any advice for types of jobs I should be looking for? Debt collection and telemarketing aren't for me. Bank tellering (I was one for almost 10 years) isn't for me... too dyslexic and make too many mistakes. Any ideas?
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, at my new jobs I had worked very hard on the work habits I COULD help, like being on time (actually 10 minutes early every day), being upbeat and chipper towards everyone, etc. I am good, I just wish I could find the right fit for me.
Sorry!!! Don't be afraid of him.. That's my opinion of course. As long as you're showing that you're afraid of him, he'll keep doing it because he knows that you won't say anything. Just ask him to be polite and tell him that you don't want any problems with him.