Is it a social convention?
Hello NTs,
These may be stupid questions; but I have a hard time knowing what's right when my observations seem so out of whack with what I thought I understood.
Today: is it a social norm to flip someone off? I had thought that this was considered rude and/or mean and/or incorrect (not finding quite the right word here), but so many people do it to me that I'm starting to wonder if it's a social norm I'm not getting?
Is it a social norm to pay attention to only what you are doing, and not bother to look at/out for what anyone else is doing? Again, I had been taught to conder those around me and the effect my action(s) might have before doing something; but I dont seem to see many other people adhering to this?
That's what I have right now.
Thank you,
Celeste
I agree with outoutout, it is definitely not a social norm and is considered rude. I do see it more often than not in driving situations. I would also like to say that none of your questions are stupid!
"What I usually cant figure is why the person flipping me off is the one _not_ following the driving laws and am apparently being flipped off for either/or _following_ the driving laws or reacting astounded when the other person breaks a law. I have a _really_ hard time following the logic there...."
Sadly, human behaviour doesn't always follow the rules of logic. That, in and of itself, is a rule. :)
The other person is not obeying the law. They know it. You know it. They know you know it.
The other person wants you to 'get with the program' and disobey the law, too. But you don't do that. That makes the other person angry. So up goes the middle finger.
What can you do? Well, one option is to extend your middle finger right back at them. But that's probably a bad idea. Same with approaching strangers to tell them they're breaking the law. It usually makes them even angrier. Also, it's unsafe. The person might have weapons. The person might be high on drugs or drunk. You just never know. So, don't do that.
Another option is to do what the other person is doing and break the law. This may be the solution when it becomes a question of safety. For example, let's say the speed limit is 55mph on a crowded city highway and everyone else is doing 75mph. If you drive 55 in that environment, you're a road hazard. You're asking for an accident. My dad (who is an Aspie too, btw) always told me, "Safety triumphs the law."
Still another option is to simply ignore the other person and continue on your merry way. That's easier said than done, I know, but it may be your only option. The world is full of jerks and the probability that you'll come across at least a few is pretty high.
That's my take, for whatever it's worth. :)
I'm not an NT, but I can say with some degree of certainty that no, it's not a social norm to flip people off. No matter how often it happens. It's an obscene gesture, and it's rude.
The question you should explore now is, why are people flipping you off? Does it happen in a particular situation (like, driving)?
"You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same."
Temple Grandin thinks in pictures. I think in music videos. :)