rejection
Oh boy. No one likes rejection. How many NTs just dismiss the stricken-with-horror-and-sadness hysterics, since "No One Likes Rejection"? Everyone feels that way is a wonderful technique for ignoring that my distorted thinking is completely hindering my ability to find a job. Dismissing distorted thinking feels like .. invalidation of the worst sort. Invalidation that distorts things even more. OK not only do I feel like crap for being rejected and I feel invalid for even applying, my overblown reaction is also invalid, and therefore I am invalid. Wow. I know that's unhealthy. Maybe I'm unfairly picking on NTs.
With so many people out of work, the competition for even menial jobs is high. I was thinking I would try for jobs working with autistic people. I have no experience doing that, especially with kids, on or off spectrum. So that hurts less than being rejected from Random Office Job.
But even getting rejected by Whole Foods, in an email saying "we filled the position before we processed your application," feels devastating. It's totally not personal, but I get to feeling defeated. I wonder if my resume or cover letter were not good enough to stand out. I wonder if I'm stupid for even applying, and think that's what the hiring people are thinking. Really, maybe I wasn't a good fit for the job. Maybe it's just random, they interviewed and found an equivalent (to me) before they ever got to calling me. Why do I take it personally? Do I even want to work at Whole Foods??
I'm also terrified of the interview, but I haven't gotten there yet. I make a good first impression, but in my old age (snark) I am getting less verbal and confident and energetic.
My friend said, look at it this way: maybe it takes 30 applications to land a job. So, I submitted 5.... 25 to go! Watch the number shrink. Keep plugging at it.
I guess. In the meantime, I'm avoiding the gut-wrenching process, in favour of cleaning my house. That's no way to land a job :P
Job hunting does take a lot out of a person, especially psychologically. I think it's even worse for autistics because we've already gotten rejected so many times in our lifetime, it's really hard to take any more. I've often procrastinated job hunting because it makes me anxious. I've also had probably some of the worst interviews ever because I can't get over my nervousness.
If it helps, I've started to treat job hunting like a job in itself, where I have to dedicate a certain number of hours per day to it. Then I try to be as productive as possible with those few hours per day that I have to spend job hunting. This way even if my day is filled with rejections, I still feel some sense of accomplishment for having kept at it for x hours. If anxiety starts to build up I just go for a run around the block or do something else for awhile. I've also cleaned the house instead of job hunting, but as long as you eventually get back to it, you can count cleaning as productive break time. There are certainly worse things you could be doing instead of that.
A friend told me sometimes finding a job is a numbers game. Especially with jobs where most people are qualified (i.e. menial jobs) it just really has to do with who you know and when you apply. Luck and timing.
Also, for interviews, I've found it helps lower my stress level when I place my focus on making the other person feel at ease. I guess what was really making me nervous was the thought that they were judging me and I was looking incompetent, but interviews are somewhat uncomfortable for the interviewer too and I'm sure they just want to get it over with and find the right person. When I try to see things from their point of view and as me trying to help them, I end up feeling more at ease myself, and I walk away knowing that whether or not they hire me, I at least felt more confident during my interview.
Hope that helps some. I'm actually also job hunting, though not full time as I have other things I need to do first, but please feel free to PM me to let me know how your job search is going. Maybe we can help each other. Good luck!
A friend of mine told me about one of her previous jobs where they put up an advertisement for an administration position. They had over three hundred applications. And that was before the global recession. So it really is a numbers game.
My method of coping with it is by setting a certain amount of time each day I will deal with job applications, right down to using a separate email address. I will check email and send applications from 10am to noon each day, and absolutely will not do it at any other time. Noon to 2pm is activities I find good for reducing anxiety. To the point where if I'm halfway through an application for a job when noon arrives, I'll save the draft and close the browser. I don't know how useful that is for anyone else, but being really hard-line about that two hour limit works for me to minimise the stress of what I'm doing.
If it makes you feel better, you do not want to work for Whole Foods. They fire their employees for talking to union reps, etc. And the markup there is ridic.
I barely make it through most interviews without freezing up, myself. If you are genuinely terrified I would suggest some sort of anxiety meds but maybe that is me projecting/catastrophizing. :P Anyhow, job hunting takes a lot out of a person.
Sorry for your predicament.
"We love to do projects."
My Youtube.