School Abuse
**Warning: This post could possibly be uncomfortable to read or may "trigger."**
Just wondering if (and how many) parents have dealt with abuse of their child in school?
My child was illegally and inappropriately physically restrained at age 7 by two aides while a student in a public elementary school. She'd made good grades, and had so few behavior the previous school year (she'd in a general ed classroom full-time) problems that the Dir. of Sp. Ed removed her behavior plan without our knowledge or consent. Still, she was restrained while I was in the building for an IEP meeting - to meet with a behavior specialist about conducting a functional behavioral assessment - after the school wanted to transfer my child to a highly restrictive, self-contained "therapeutic emotional/behavioral support program" in another school, in another district and I'd refused. (Retaliation, perhaps?)
However, I suspect the abuse went back as far as kindergarten, as once she'd come home with an unexplained bruise on her cheek (I was later told she'd fallen down face first into a desk, but we didn't know if she'd tripped, was pushed, or had a drop seizure; as she has epilepsy any falls/injuries were to be reported daily) another time she'd come home from school with a black eye and said her aide had punched her. I'd taken photos, sent them to the school principal, and asked for an investigation - and pulled her out of school for a month until they could convince me they could guarantee her safety (boy was I wrong!)
My daughter is much more verbal and able to disclose some of the other abuse she'd also suffered at the hands of fellow students she'd thought were her friends, but who were really bullies - of being backed into a wall at recess, pushed down, and kicked by numerous "children" in the neck, back, butt, and crotch - all this despite that her IEP required her to have an aide with her at all times because of her communication impairment and seizure disorder (which means either the aide was not there as required, or was there but did nothing to stop it).
In any case, I was wondering how many other "school abuse survivors" were out there. I also wanted to offer a virtual shoulder or an "ear" to anyone needing it.
Take care,
Jen
Ugh. I went to a Catholic school until 5th grade so there were no special education programs or IEPs.
To be honest, if I had my choice as a child I would have been home-schooled. I realize that an important aspect of school is to "socialize" people but a) Autistic people don't need it as much as Neurotypical people and b) There are plenty of other ways to socialize.
But I also know for many people it isn't possible. It wasn't possible for my parents.
I struggle with this one with respect to my son. He says he strongly prefers to attend school and would like very much for us to find a placement that will afford him practice with socialization. However, he has had such horrible issues at school (intermittently) that he and I both have PTSD from it.
I wonder if I have the stamina to home school him. He is extremely oppositional. It seems to be all I can do to check over his homework these days.
Sigh.
my husband has a horribly lengthy file of abuses towards children in the public schools, nt or not. we have choosen to home-school our children. one teacher here in middle tennessee even used duct tape to restrain children!
the public school systems are overwhelmed and under equipped. teachers are not fully trained to deal with children with delays. i started my college career with a secondary ed. minor and you are only required to take one course to help you deal with delayed children.
My daughter has had some abuse but not to the same level as your stories. One of the playground aides was often saying that she was doing thing that according to her and her friend hadn't happened, also when she dropped some things walking out to the bus the woman looked right at her and ignored her.in kindergarten she had an accident at about 10:30 am and the teacher did nothing about it. After that I used my mother's address so that she could go to a different school for the rest of the year. She went back therefor 1st grade and it was better, but not by much. Luckily the school she is at now (We moved) is much better and more accommodating to her uniqueness.
I'm a survivor, too. The abuse I suffered began at private school, though. They're not bound by the same rules, I'm told. I also have epilepsy, and had undiagnosed absence seizures for years. Teachers and kids didn't like me anyway because of my AS (though at the time, the diagnostic criteria for AS didn't exist in the US, so we didn't know about it). When I'd have a seizure teachers would cuff me in the ears, yell at me, drum on my desk, etc.. allegedly to get my attention. When I'd come to, the kids would laugh at me. It was a running joke they all had about my being a daydreamer. Also, my parents were told by doctors that the best way to treat an immature, emotionally labile child was to let the social shame guide him/her. In other words, they thought that if the other kids and teachers gave me a hard enough time, I would straighten up on my own. Well, as we know, being mean to autistic kids doesn't make them less autistic, so it didn't work. When it didn't work, the perpetrators turned up the heat. That was at a very exclusive, private school for gifted kids, where on top of the abuse, I had to endure continually being told how fortunate I was to attend there. I was at that frigging school for 11 years. My placements got worse after that. I can't really talk about the things that happened to me later.