something that happned?
need to ask you advice on something. I was Talking to a good freind of mine on the phone when the conversation began to turned sexual with Him tell me stuff he did with girls. I did not mind that part really all though it was a tad embarrassing, But then he asked me if I would ever give Him a BJ. I thought it was A bit inappropriate of a question. I don't think he was asking be aces H actually wanted me to do that but I said no and I doubt I would ever do that to anyone. The conversation made me feel uneasy and He uis a good freind and I still want to talk with him but I am scared he might bring something like this up again. Thru out the conversation he Also kept telling me He was tempted to cheat on his Gf. He has made Sexual Jokes around me before but this feels alot different what do you think I should do? I want to stay friends with him Be the Conversation frightened me.
I'm not a 'professional'. I'm just a Mom with Aspergers raising two teen aged daughters with Aspergers.
And as a mom, I would urge you to trust your instincts.
You said you thought he was suggesting that he wanted to do that with you. And I think young lady that your instincts are Spot on.
I would confide in the people who love you, or a councillor if necessary so you can understand further what you should or shouldn't do in this situation (before you talk to him again).
And also as someone who was 'once' a teenager, cheating with him ... will hurt his girl friend.
I'm certain you don't want that.
I just think it will help you to clarify how you can make the right decision for yourself, if you know all sides of the issues here.
And a councillor, or maybe the people you love may be able to help you get to that place.
It's OK to stop him the moment the conversation becomes uncomfortable. Tell him that he's going too far. If he wants to have a discussion, you can lay out the parameters of a friendship.
Shift some responsibility to him. If he is truly your friend, then he should not tread on sexual ground. And yes, talk to someone you trust and let him know that you're not keeping this a secret.
I hope this helps.
I've had those kind of convos with guys in the past, they seemed to be friends, but then it would turn out that their intention was not just the friendship, especially when some want to boost their egos by trying to "convert" me. I felt betrayed and as a result, I cut them off my life completely. I think you should consider to do the same with your friend too, making such an inaproperate suggestion along with the intention to possibly cheat on his gf doesn't exactly make him look like a good person...
sorry I took me along time to respond anyhow I tried to call him today but he was at work and only had a few seconds to talk he said he will call back later. It seems odd that he would suddenly make those comments I have know him for about 4 or 5 years now had except for a silly jokey comments he has never said anything over sexually. I have sort of have had a crush on him since i first knew him but kept it too myself because I always was a bit nervous around him. However he i has been a good freind up in till now nothing else has happened like this I do not really want to loose him as a freind. If he does call back later tonite I will tell you all how the convo went.
okay I have talked to him he claimed that he was having a reaction, to cold medicine he had taken and does not remember what he said. For what I can tell he seemed embarrassed.
However must of being really really embarrassed cause now he seems to not want to talk to me i have called him a few times since then and he has not called me back. I want him to understand that I am not mad or angry at him. I hope he talks to me some time soon I dont want our friendship to end.
Geebowie, He's lying. I have never known anyone to have a reaction to a 'cold medicine' that included Amnesia. He never expected you to have the courage to stand up to him. And now he's treating you as though you've done something wrong, in calling him out towards his inappropriateness to you.
I am sorry that you are going through a hard time. But you have to remember that this isn't your fault. You did the right thing in telling him that you were uncomfortable with his advances. If he refuses to talk to you after this, that's his fault. Not yours.
I'm not a mental health professional or a counselor, so this is just my opinion, geebowie. But I think he revealed something troubling about his character when he put you in this position. He had no right to assume you would be comfortable with this, and I think your reaction of feeling uncomfortable was totally understandable and acceptable. His behavior was unacceptable. He should have known it was unacceptable. You don't say these things you're in a platonic, friendship relationship with. At the very least, I'd be wary around him, and for the time being, keep a certain distance from him. But make it very clear to him that you were offended by what he said to you, and if he wants to continue to be in your life, he can't do this any more. That's my opinion.