You know you have autism or Asperger's if...
It's a popular humor thread idea I saw on another forum, so I'm starting another one on my blog. I hope it makes you smile!
http://www.eileenparker.com/2010/04/you-know-you-have-autism-or-asperger%E2%80%99s-if%E2%80%A6/
You know all the answers in a trivia game/contest, but you can't figure out when it's your turn to answer. 
Yes! Kiwipen. So much yes!
And my mom does it too, and she's not autistic. She's the one who taught me to do it, 'cause it really is easier to keep track of when you've got all the fruits and veggies first on the list, when that's the first section of the grocery shop that you enter and so on. Hehe. Awesome.
You know you're an aspie when that thing you just said was in response to what we were talking about 5 minutes ago rather than the topic of right now.
I do that so often - it's so hard to let go of a topic when there's still more to be said on it x_x
... when everyone hates you and don't know why.
... when playing with dolls as a girl meant setting everything up EXACTLY the same way, every time. And playing out the same senarios over and over again.
You know you're a Spectrumite when you've seen a movie twice and can quote it verbatim
When you can talk about grout for 20 minutes (though you are not a builder) and go so far as inviting a guest to look at your grout. Yeah, guilty.
...when everyone is sitting around saying what seems like perfectly ordinary things and they keep breaking up into laughter and then asking you, "don't you get it?"
If you wipe your utensils clean between courses of a meal, perhaps?
If my Dad and I both won't eat food that has touched another food. We both eat foods one at a time on designated spots on the plate.
Kiwipen, maybe we have talked on Aspie Hangout before. Mind you, I tend to be more of a reader since most of the time I have to think of what to say, but by then the thread is talked out.
If you hear a song once and have it memorised.
(my daughter did this at age 4 with the song tear in my beer)
Vicki,
I remember little of what I hear because my auditory isn't that great, but if I see something, words, license plates, phone numbers, etc., I remember. It can creep people out.
If you don't need Facebook to remember when people's birthdays are.
If you can detect sarcasm in your cat better than you can in humans.
If you don't know why people ask how you're doing if they don't really want to know.
... you speak like a very proper seventy-year-old woman at the age of sixteen.
When you know exactly how many dots are on the board at each level of the Ms. Pac-Man game (if you're old enough to remember that one!), and could play it for hours on end, but you don't have the speed or dexterity to ever get very good at it.
You know ur an aspie when your cat looks at you and you answer its question or you have to reset the vibe in your house each time you walk into it. or is that insanity??....hmm...
I just have to say that I LOVE ALL of these! Happy New Year. 
... when you wear your father's winter coat in the summer.
If your special interest is DROID, you talk about nonstop and drive your old man nuts, call yourself Droid like i do and can't function without your DROIDX. I eat sleep and. Breathe Droid. In English, that meansi DROID is my life.I even make my X do the Droid Cry just to make me laugh,. Droid Haters be aware, cuz I'm DROID General. Lol! Also my life motto is the DroidDoes one, "In a world that doesn't DroidDoes ". Also i wear the DROIDX logo on my clothes no matter the occasion even when I'm sleeping which im supposed to be doing. I think my X needs to sing me to sleep so she can wake me up for my 0900X church Services
I've seen this one too, on Aspie Hangout. My own contribution:-
You know you're an aspie if... you are doing an online test on whether you're a 'sympathiser' or an 'empathiser', and when one question asks 'do you organize your shopping list by not only shop, but aisle in the supermarket?" you think ...doesn't everybody?!!?
Your genuine actions speak for themselves, your conformity says nothing.